The Australian “right-wing” political commentary sphere (well, the ones not wearing Helly Hansen jackets) is the gayest and lamest group of individuals in the country. One of the biggest problems with One Nation surging in the polls, is that this is the group of people who are selling them.
They will repulse the millions of people who are now for the first time considering them as a serious political option.
Unlike when America first jumped on the Trump train, we do not have a legion of charismatic “alt righters” that can drive the thing. And unlike Donald Trump, who (love him or hate him) is probably the most auramaxxed individual human being alive on planet Earth right now, Pauline Hanson is a bumbling mumbling grandma. Her British equivalent Nigel Farage charisma mogs her like crazy. And frankly, so does Anthony Albanese.
One Nation is boomer-coded, bogan-coded and terminally jeans and sneakers divorced dad-coded. Nothing about One Nation is cool.
This doesn’t mean they can’t win. People will cop the cringe, hold their nose and vote One Nation if the policies are decent.
In my previous articles I explained what is driving people towards One Nation and contrasted it with what will drive them away. They need to explain what abolishing multiculturalism means in concrete policy terms, not in vague ways that allow the left to define it for them. They need to keep the Christian moral crusade on abortion sidelined and recognise their voters are secular. They need to keep cutting immigration front and centre (everything the Left has done lately has been trying to put the focus everywhere else but immigration, and judging by the recent polls this has worked). And they need to give people the economic nationalism they want, not the free market fetishism no one asked for (the Libertarian Party is an electoral failure for good reason).
But there’s one thing I didn’t mention, which is a far harder problem for them to solve, which is how gay and lame their online fanbase are. These are the people who were clapping like seals at their boring and superficial anti-Albo campaign.
Do they attack Albo for flooding Australia with foreigners? Do they attack Albo for his equivocation of Australians with immigrants? Do they attack Albo for his trashing of free speech? Do they attack Albo for being a closeted homosexual? Barely, if at all.
Instead they have decided the one single thing they are going to attack him on, is that he lied about increasing taxes. Well that, and him saying he wants to fuck Kylie Minogue. I mean can you blame him?
So the Left are saying Pauline Hanson is a low IQ racist sell-out owned by Israel who’s Gina Rinehart’s personal slave, and the best you have to clap back with is that Albo lied about taxes and is a gooner. This is why you need cool people on your side who know how to bully gay nerds like Albo correctly, not a bunch of cucks seething that Albo is vrilled up.
All you are doing is making him seem cool and relatable. All you are doing is making him seem less gay. All you are doing is making yourselves look like a bunch of losers obsessed over frivolous nothingburgers. This is not winning.
Donald Trump grabbed bitches by the pussy. Donald Trump has a supermodel wife. Donald Trump fucks. Masculine sexual energy is power-coded, a nation wants to be led by a man who fucks, why do you think Hitler drove Germany so wild with his erect arm gestures?
Donald Trump also defeated his political rivals by portraying them as weak, and contrasting himself as strong. Pauline Hanson does not project strength. Making it a personal fight between her and Albo is terrible strategy. Albo is a literal soyjak but next to Pauline he seems smart, charismatic and serious, and if you judged it only on the past week or so he even seems more authentic.
Instead of making your campaign a series of personal digs at Albo, make it about saving Australia, make it about keeping Australia Australian, make it about patriotism, make it existential. Albanese is kind of charming on a personal level, but he’s also a traitor to this nation – if you’re going to attack him, make it about that.
But it needs to be recognised that Australians are not a nation of moralists, we are a no-bullshit people, which is why most of us have been checked out of politics for a long time. And if you don’t have substance to offer, but just another flavour of bullshit, we will check out again.
Header image: Albanese and Nikki Osbourne (Bush Deep).
